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Cornered!
R1 - America - Phase 4 Films Review written by and copyright: Anthony Arrigo (21st June 2010). |
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The Film
 Why does it seem like making a decent horror film is such a daunting task these days? If you trudge through many of the lesser-known titles of the 70's and 80's - hell, even the 90's - you’re likely to come up with a generous list of low-budget gems that didn’t get their fair shake, but are still imminently worthy of re-discovery. But when you grab the horror family tree of the new millennium and shake it by the roots, all that’s likely to fall out is a lot of unimaginative, derivative trash with only a handful of truly worthy titles rising above the mediocrity. I had hoped that “Cornered!” wouldn’t be relegated to the bottom of the heap, as I had heard it was a genuinely well-done horror film that manages to balance both terror and humor. My interest was piqued because, when done right, a horror/comedy hybrid can be among the best the genre has to offer. Many of horror’s staple films, and fan favorites, are in this vein: “Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn” (1987), “Re-Animator” (1985) and “Return of the Living Dead” (1985), all would arguably be the best examples of such a perfect union. But, unfortunately, “Cornered!” isn’t even worthy of being mentioned in the same breath as those classics. A serial killer has been terrorizing much of Los Angeles in recent months, specifically targeting convenience stores, and leaving no one alive. One night, right in the midst of all the coverage, a group of friends decide to play a few games of poker at their friend Steve’s (Eduardo Antonio Garcia) liquor store. What they don’t know is that the infamous masked killer has hidden away in the store, and once everything is locked up tight he slowly dispatches each of them throughout the evening. I always like to keep my plot summaries short and sweet, no reason to divulge any of a film’s good to a potential first-time viewer. But I’ve gotta say that anyone with even a passable knowledge of horror can predict with surgical precision exactly what’s going to happen here. Except for maybe the ending, but we all know that always boils down to one of two scenarios: killer is killed by final hero/heroine, or killer kills everyone. Now, I’m obviously not going to spill the beans on the outcome, but I’ll say it didn’t do much to ease the pain of watching what comes before it. I really, truly tried giving this film a chance, and it did do a few minor things right, but the writing is so poor, the acting is generally just as bad, and the entire film just feels like such a wasted opportunity. When you’re setting the entire film inside one location, you had better be sure the writing is top-notch, in order to maintain audience attention, and you’d better have a damn interesting single location to keep up intrigue. This film failed to employ either, and the result speaks for itself. It might sound amusing, but I was attracted to watching this based on the fact that it stars Steve Guttenberg, he of the “Police Academy” (1984-1994) series fame. I wasn’t sure if this was a straight horror film looking to cast against type, or if this was going to be a ribald, black comedy with underpinnings of horror. I’d say that his character, Morty, was more akin to something you’d find in a horror comedy, but he didn’t jive to well in the context of this particular film. It also shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to uncover the major mystery that Morty is, in fact, the serial killer. Do you know why this is so obvious? It’s because Morty shows up during the film’s first 10 minutes and then completely disappears. Why would Steve Guttenberg, arguably the biggest star in the cast, get his name listed first in the credits if he’s only in the movie for about 6 total minutes? Right, that’s why. I’d rather they had him stalking the victims sans S&M bondage mask, then maybe he could have at least toyed with them a bit – maybe unleash some of his cynical humor. Instead, they keep his big reveal for the film’s end – a fruitless endeavor when the audience already knows who’s behind the mask. Of course, if you couldn’t guess it was him all along then you’re probably not much of a horror fan, in which case you’ll probably enjoy the film more than I did. Unless, you know, you just read this paragraph before watching it… The rest of the group is right out of a sitcom, and that’s not a good thing. One guy, Donny “Donut” (Peter Story), literally looks like the love child of Kevin James and Artie Lang. I’m not even kidding. It doesn’t help that he spends the film’s run time scarfing down donuts and passively hitting on his prostitute wannabe girlfriend, Jess (Elizabeth Nicole). All the guy needs is a serious coke problem and it would take modern science to prove to me that some unholy union between those two behemoths of comedy didn’t result in this hellspawn. He’s our comedic relief - at least, I’m assuming he is. He didn’t do anything funny, necessarily, but he’s fat and in love, so I’m guessing he’s supposed to be the film’s source of laughter. The remainder of the bunch is filled out with the a morbidly obese African American phone sex operator, Mona (Ellia English), and the film’s other sole highlight, Jimmy (James Duval), a drug addict still working on kicking his habit.
Video
The 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen image is telling of how low-budget this production must have been. The picture has a slightly greenish tint to it, making most of the shots look sickly and drab. But I’ll say that the image was mostly sharp, well-defined and free from any excessive grain or digital noise. Remember, you’re watching a low-budget slasher flick, and that’s a horror subgenre that’s never been known to have much visual style. They’re often brutal, dark films… and this one doesn’t stray too far from that archetype. Almost the entire film takes place at night, so it’s a good thing that black levels hold up well without much crushing. Colors didn’t exactly leap off the screen – they looked a bit subdued. But I’ve certainly seen far worse images from a standard DVD. This is perfectly passable.
Audio
The English Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound track is adequate in transmitting dialogue and sound effects, but it’s a rather boring track otherwise. The sound design, if there is any, doesn’t even attempt to create an air of mystery – some sense of dread and foreboding. Instead, it relies on generic sound cues and boring dynamics to add absolutely nothing to the film. A good score can go a long way in making a movie better, but there’s nothing here to show that an effort was even being made to give this picture that little something extra that might have set it apart. An English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo track is also included. No subtitles are included.
Extras
Phase 4 Films has included a featurette, a theatrical trailer and a couple of bonus trailers, below is a closer look at these supplements. “Behind-the-Scenes” (16x9) is a featurette which runs for 17 minutes and 59 seconds. It might look like there’s a decent amount of material covered here based on the runtime, but it’s only that long because they talk with each of the cast members at length about their respective characters. It was helpful in getting to understand how each actor looked at the role they were given, but it showed very little in terms of actual on-set production. The original theatrical trailer for “Cornered!” is included and runs for 1 minute and 49 seconds. Finally, there are a couple of bonus trailers (16x9) which play automatically before the menu, but are not accessible from the special features menu: - “Midnight Movie” runs for 57 seconds. - “Red Hook” runs for 1 minute and 12 seconds.
Overall
I know this film wanted to be more than it is – you can tell that they were hoping to make a unique black comedy/horror movie. But the excessive script problems, bad dialogue and some less-than-average acting kept this anchored to the bottom of the horror pool. Too bad, as it does have a few good cast members (Guttenberg and Duval) who brought what they could to an otherwise generic, run-of-the-mill slasher film.
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