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Tooth Fairy
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray A - America - Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment Review written by and copyright: Ethan Stevenson (24th July 2010). |
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The Film
 Derek Thompson (Dwayne Johnson) is a washed up has-been, loser. He’s a hockey “star” but not in the big time professional league… and he really only has his spot on his current team because his on-ice personality – the so-called Tooth Fairy, a name coined because Thompson has a habit of knocking out his opponent’s teeth – draws the crowds. His career may be in the toilet but his personal life isn’t that depressing… at least not at the start of the film. Derek has a girlfriend (Ashley Judd), with two kids from a previous marriage, who loves him dearly and, even if he is a novelty on the ice, he has made enough wise investments with his money that he lives comfortably, plus he still has fans that ask for an autograph from time to time. Still, Thompson’s outlook on life is pretty jaded, a little jerky and he has this nasty need to tell it like it is. Because his dreams of playing in the professional league were dashed early by a shoulder injury, he feels like he should spread the word to his young fans that, in all likelihood, their dreams won’t come true. It’s this dream killing that gets Thompson sentenced to serve time, although not in jail. His crime; telling a little girl that the Tooth Fairy doesn’t exist, and that he and Mom are the one’s putting the money under her pillow. But he’s wrong you see, and in this film's world, Tooth Fairies do exist, much like Santa, and the Easter Bunny, and for his blatant lying (and dream killing) he is sentenced to a life as a Tooth Fairy, until such a time that the Fairy Queen (Julie Andrews) believes that Thompson has learned his lesson. “The Tooth Fairly” may not be the absolute worst movie ever made, it’s possible. I’ll admit that the film is at least professionally made (meaning it looks like they had a budget, and they used it), and director Michael Lembeck provides competent (as in, not Uwe Boll-level), albeit boring, direction picture. And, yes, occasionally the film is well acted by some of the seasoned pros; Johnson does his best to be likable on a comedic level, and like usual, he doesn’t totally fail. Julie Andrews is good too; although she’s basically playing the same role that she’s been doing since “The Princess Diaries” (2001). The child actors, eh, they’re somewhere between awful and annoying, but that’s about par for the course, really. But it’s dreadfulness stems from the fact that it’s so lazily written, pointless and hopelessly cliché. The film brings nothing new to the table, hits all the genre-expected plot points with cookie cutter precision, and has mostly boring cardboard characters. Spoiler Alert: as you’d expect, by the time the credits get ready to roll, Thompson has learned his lesson, and everything works out fine, just like a storybook: he reconciles with his girlfriend, but only after the necessary breakup that lasts but a few minutes in movie time at the tail end of the second act, is a better “father” to her kids, but again only after he tramples the dreams of both of them (another tired second act complication), gets a second chance in the NHL for seemingly no reason at all, makes a new friend (the same person that, at the start of the film, he was at odds with: who’d a known?) and genuinely learns to be a better person. The story is the byproduct of a blenderiffic script, which is such an unoriginal rehash because “The Tooth Fairy” had six screenwriters. Six, can you believe that? The film follows such a well worn path; one that most “big guy in a goofy kids movie” stories eventually walk down, that it’s almost mind boggling. And that’s why this movie is awful, not only is it not because it’s incredibly cheesy premise can’t be enjoyed by anyone over the age of, say, eight years old (not only), but because this movie’s been made before, with very little variance. I present to you that even Johnson himself has basically made the same film before – “The Game Plan” (2007) – only without the ridiculous fantasy element, and a slightly more heartfelt story. Parents don’t waste your money on this garbage; rent or buy something else entirely. A film that’s a little less bland, a lot less redundant and loads less groan inducing. The kiddies will probably like this film, if they’re under a certain age anyway, but no one ever said that six year olds had taste, did they? As an adult, if junior does want to see “The Tooth Fairy” and you make the unwise decision to not only buy it from the store, but watch it with him too, be ready to see a complete unfunny Billy Crystal fill the screen with an almost zombie-like rigidity (yep, Miracle Max is an unfunny a-hole in this film; he tries to make jokes, but they’re truly terrible), and if nothing else does, that alone will make you wish you’d never watched this god-awful garbage.
Video
From frame-one “Tooth Fairy”, with its bubble-gum colors and bright imagery, looks good in 1080p 24/fps AVC MPEG-4 high definition. Fine detail, especially in fabrics, is excellent and the film’s CG effects, while a bit chintzy, maintain an acceptable level of sharpness. Skintones are a bit on the flushed side, but contrast is otherwise good; whites remain clean, without blooming and blacks, fairly deep. An occasional softness is present – obviously intentional, as the mild diffusion usually surrounds scenes featuring Julie Andrews – but this is overall a great transfer. Fox has preserved the films original theatrical ratio of 1.85:1, with small bars on the top and bottom of the frame.
Audio
Like all Fox Blu-ray's since the days of the first high definition disc, “Tooth Fairy” has an English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (48kHz/24-bit) soundtrack. The mix has a surprising amount of energy in early scenes – the hockey game and Derek’s transformation into a fairy to name a few – but it eventually settles down and, while the music, dialogue and other elements of the soundtrack are certainly clear and without issue, the film has but a satisfactory lossless track. It’s not bad, not in the least, just a bit underwhelming and dry. Most sound effects are confined to the front soundstage, with unexpectantly little activity in the rears. Effects in general are pretty quiet, and the score lacks any sort of authority. Again, clarity isn’t a problem, but you’d have thought that a fantasy film would have better audio. Additional options include English Dolby Digital 5.1 surround (48kHz/448 kbps), French Dolby Digital 5.1 surround (48kHz/448 kbps), Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1 surround (48kHz/448 kbps) and Portuguese Dolby Digital 5.1 surround (48kHz/448 kbps). Optional English for the hearing impaired, Spanish, Portuguese and Chinese subtitles are also included.
Extras
“Tooth Fairy” has an unexpectantly decent supplemental package via a 3-Disc BD + DVD + Digital Copy package. The film is pretty much garbage and the material included as extras isn’t nearly enough to make this disc worth the platter it was pressed on, but still, the Blu-ray has a nice grouping on bonus material that balances the kiddie-goodies with stuff that adults might actually enjoy too. Befitting a brand-new release all video is presented in 1080p high definition. DISC ONE: Things begin with an optional 22 second introduction by director Michael Lembeck, who seems way to happy to be talking about his less-than-mediocre film (a running theme in this disc, you’ll see). Director Michael Lembeck returns for an audio commentary. Again he’s a little too happy, and far too pleased with the resulting film, to offer a truly insightful deconstruction of the films successes and failings – but then again few filmmakers outside of Kevin Smith seem willing to openly discuss their faults, so I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything other than the light, airy discussion that followed. Still, there is talk of the film's production and if nothing else the director keeps up the chat to the end credits, with few gaps of silence. You won’t find any discourse on what it took to transform lumbering Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson into a twinkling, light-footed fairy in “Tooth Fairy Training Center” featurette (HD, 20 minutes 24 seconds). Nope, instead you’ll find a featurette designed to get kids off of their backsides and exercising away to a selection of pretty simple, but ultimately effective and fun routines. At the least the sentiment is there, and that’s what counts right? Johnson and the wonderful Stephen Merchant team up for a sing-along feature, dubbed “Fairy-Oke” (HD, 3 minutes 45 seconds). They sing a karaoke version of “The Wind Beneath My Wings” (poorly) while lyrics bounce along the bottom of the screen. Come on, it’s not that bad – and Merchant and Johnson seem to be having a good time. Less fun is a tired old gag reel (HD, 2 minutes 34 seconds), full of not so funny slip-ups, line flubs and other non-humorous crap. 6 deleted scenes (HD, 8 minutes 20 seconds) are available to those wanting to know the answer to the question, “so what exactly could be so bad that it didn’t make the final cut of a film like “Tooth Fairy?” Well, actually not really. I’d love to say that the material included here is absolutely awful – more so than the film itself – but no, there’s nothing that made me go, “Oh, boy that was terrible. I can see why it was cut.” Simply, the excised footage is as mediocre and unfunny as the film itself. Scenes include: - "Derek gets arrested" - "Derek takes Gabe’s tooth from under his pillow" - "Derek scolds Tracy for tricking him into Gabe’s room" - "The Music Store" [Extended Version] - "Derek agrees to help" Tracy train to be a tooth fairy [Extended Version] - "Randy’s talent show" [Extended Version] The real gem here is the unassumingly titled “Behind the Scenes” (HD, 38 minutes 55 seconds), a multi-part featurette that rather seriously takes a look at the making of “Tooth Fairy.” Director Michael Lembeck, special effects supervisor Jake Morrison, along with many other crew and cast members discuss the intricacies of making the film. There’s a lot of talk about the look of the film – the CG, complete with scene-comparisons, the costumes, that sort of thing, and not so much on the script, story and casting. Chapters include: - "Introduction" - "Behind the Scenes with Lem and Jake" - "VFX: Before and After" - "Storyboards with commentary by director Michael Lembeck and special effects supervisor Jake Morrison" - "Wee man with commentary by director Michael Lembeck and special effects supervisor Jake Morrison" - "Fights, Tights & Fairy FX" - "Wings and Fairy Things" - "Creating Fairyland" Finally a theatrical trailer, which contains the films one funny scene, finishes off the film-centric supplements. 2 minutes 27 seconds. A series of wildly uneven pre-menu bonus trailers for other Fox films auto-play upon disc insertion. They include: - “Maramaduke” preview runs 38 seconds. - “Simple. Fast. Portable” – Fox Digital Copy promo. 49 seconds. - “Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.” 2 minute 23 seconds. - “Marley & Me: The Terrible 2’s.” 25 seconds. - “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.” 1 minute 41 seconds. The above bonus trailers can also be found in the extras menu under “Sneak Peeks” where you’ll also find the truly fantastic trailer for the utterly fantastic “The Fantastic Mr. Fox” (HD, 2 minutes 31 seconds), the needless sequel of a needless remake, “Flicka 2” (HD, 2 minute 32 seconds), and a tantalizing, but frustratingly short spot which promotes a new Blu-ray-bound 45th Anniversary Edition of “The Sound of Music” (HD, 53 seconds) – completely restored from the original 65mm camera negative! Finally, Fox includes their now standard Java-based bookmarks. Use the red button on your Blu-ray remote to bookmark your favorite scene, or simply stop the film at any given time and when you return, the menu will ask if you would like to resume the film from where you left off. DISC TWO: A DVD copy of the film is also included. The standard definition 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen video and 5.1 Dolby Digital audio are decent for the format, but they can’t compete with the Blu-ray – and dare I say, the film is so awful that without the Blu-ray’s added clarity, broader color spectrum and near-no compression issues, “Tooth Fairy” isn’t even bearable for more than a few minutes. The DVD contains similar extras. DISC THREE: Finally, a digital copy, compatible with Apple iPod, iPhone, iTunes and Microsoft WMV-playback devices is include. Not that you’d actually want to put the film on any of those devices; if needed, I can think of far greater means of torture.
Packaging
“Tooth Fairy” flutters onto Blu-ray in a 3-disc Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy combo pack from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment. The film and a majority of the special features reside on the dual layer BD-50. A DVD copy of the film is also included, on disc two (a full retail DVD-9) which replicates some of the Blu-ray bonus material, while a standard definition copy of the film for playback on iPod and other portable media devices is included on the third and final disc (A DVD-5). The Blu-ray is locked to Region A. The DVD is locked to Region 1.
Overall
Good video, decent audio and not-so-terrible extras do not a recommendation make. “Tooth Fairy” is terrible. It’s a horrible, no good movie that should neither be seen nor heard by adults – and kids just don’t know better (yet) so forgive their ignorance. Skip it; this one’s not even worth the rental fees.
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