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Shark Swarm
R1 - America - Genius Products Review written by and copyright: Andreas Petersen (2nd June 2008). |
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The Film
 When I sit down to watch a movie from the “Maneater Series”, I know what not to expect. Regardless as to how these movies have been marketed, I cannot expect an over-the-top blood bath. I also can’t really expect a whole lot in regards to acting or writing. So, with my expectations lowered so, does the latest entry into the series fare well? Short answer: no. "Shark Swarm" is a direct-to-TV movie directed by James A. Contner, as it recounts the story of Daniel Wilder (John Schneider), a fisherman who was born and bred in Full Moon Bay. He, along with his brother Philip (Roark Critchlow) and wife Brook (Daryl Hannah), are attempting to stall a corporate buy-out by conglomerate billionaire Hamilton Lux (Armand Assante). Lux plans to build condos all over Full Moon Bay, and this doesn’t sit too well with the Wilders, who’s signature is the last one needed to start construction. All the while, Lux has been pouring some sort of chemical in the waters to kill off all the fish, driving the property value of the bay down. Oh yeah, this chemical also makes sharks aggressive for some reason. There are two chief problems with this movie. First off, it has an insanely formulaic structure. You will get five minutes of story, and then someone, who sometimes isn’t even a character relevant to the plot or any of the characters, gets eaten in a horribly lame way. Every single shark attack in this film works thusly: A person will be above water, then they will get knocked in some how, and then stock footage of CG sharks swim around, attack the camera, and then cut to red water. It was truly ridiculous how many times this card was used in the film, especially considering how unspectacular the kills looked. Secondly, this is a disturbingly long film. Part of the luxury of watching a bad horror movie is that it usually wraps itself up in a brisk 90 minutes. "Shark Swarm", on the other hand, is 2 hours and 40 minutes long. It was near torture having to suffer through the most tame kills and empty dialogue I have seen in years. I know this was some sort of two part made-for-TV movie, but in a single sitting, it just doesn’t work in the slightest. Though the movie sucked pretty hard, I was able to find some positive things to say about it. First of all, there is a romantic interest between Philip and a marine biologist (Heather McComb), who seem to be the best written characters in the film, and are supported by the two best actors as well. Seriously, these two actors outshone Academy Award winning actor F. Murray Abraham, who, for some reason, is in this movie. Secondly, for a movie with a low budget, the sharks didn’t look half bad. I’m not saying CG sharks will ever effectively replace animatronic ones, but the attention to detail on the models is better than any sort of work I’ve seen in a recent low-budget shark movie (and yes, I’ve seen a ton). But these two elements hardly make "Shark Swarm" worth a watch. Seriously, if I had been watching this on TV, I would have turned it off in minutes. And I had to sit through nearly 3 hours of it, just so I could warn you not to do the same. You owe me buddy.
Video
"Shark Swarm" is presented in an adequate 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. While the film never really stood out visually in any artistic way (we’re talking about a strait-to-TV shark movie here), but I cannot deny that I was decently surprised by how good the video quality on the disc looked. With some of the other Maneater films, I had numerous complaints about scenes being too dark, or instances of artifacts, neither of which were ever a problem at all in "Shark Swarm". Overall, an impressive picture.
Audio
"Shark Swarm" is presented in an English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo track. I was a little disappointed that the film wasn’t in 5.1 surround sound, as so I could hear people getting eaten all around me. The sound that is there, however, is below average. In more than one instance, characters would raise their voices, and the audio would annoyingly peak. Also, maybe this isn’t attributed to audio necessarily, but half the time I couldn’t understand what the hell Armande Assante was saying. He mumbles a lot, but I found many of his lines to be inaudible. This disc does not include any optional subtitles.
Extras
Mercifully, I didn’t have to spend any more of my time watching anything "Shark Swarm" related after my initial viewing, as this DVD has no extras at all. The closest thing you’ll find is a bonus trailer for the "Maneater Series" that plays before the DVD moves to its main menu, running for 1 minute and 26 seconds.
Overall
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